she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
