"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
