Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
