I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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