I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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