I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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