I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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