oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Fuck appropriateness.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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