Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
