I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
