In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
