oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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