Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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