talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The best revenge is premature balding
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
