So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
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