People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
