If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
