Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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