i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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