Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
