Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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