You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
did you just send me my own nude
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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