im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
