I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
