Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
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I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
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I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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