She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
