Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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