Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
