I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
