we have officially lost it.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
