Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
