idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
