I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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