So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
tell me about the eggs
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
