Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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