The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
