Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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