he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
