I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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