...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
