And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
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We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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