I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
