so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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