Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
