Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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