I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
