Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
