She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
