Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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