so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
