Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
