She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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