woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
As shirtless as possible
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
