They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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