Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize