Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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