so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
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it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
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the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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