It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
