margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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