Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
