You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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