none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
