He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You need Xanax blowdarts
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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