i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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