Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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