I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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