don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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