We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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