Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
