how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
