So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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